vunerable.

am I supposed to know how to do this? Is it okay to be vulnerable?Am I supposed to be strong, while you lay there unconscious. All I can think about is the fact that I am not strong enough to let go, I am not capable of being okay if I lose you, and I cant lose another uncle, that would be 3 in 3 years, How am I supposed to be happy? your struggling and I am being selfish, instead of saying its all in gods hand, im saying, those fucking doctors aren't doing shit, why aren't they caring? I shouldnt be thinking about losing you. I should be praying for a miracle, and oh boy am I praying, because losing you will hurt me. You are my uncle Bob, the uncle that showed me what sass is, who taught me to swear in spanish, who showed me everything about cars at 5 years old, you took me to work and I loved being in the garage, watching you fix your car. I loved visiting you and the pancakes you always made, even though you played it tough, you always cuddeled me, you cut my sandwhiches into hearts, I should have told you I loved you, every chance I got, because you always told me.

please pull through, I cant imagine life without you<3