Poland

Poland and those two weeks are always in the back of my mind, but some days the longing to be there is stronger than normal and on those days I just close my eyes and cry and just pretend im back there. Because for those two weeks, nothing back here mattered, all that mattered was spreading Gods glory and Love over this incredible country. I always feel like Im going to wake up and realize it was a dream, the whole bonding experience leading up to the trip was incredible, all the bonding trips. meetings, bonfires and everything, it was pure bliss, the bonfires, the pool parties, the hikes, santa monica, I had a family to always depend on. the bonfires, the car rides there, freezing and just cuddeling under the stars just laying and singing, the food, the laughter, everything was wonderful. Its like I never doubted that I had at least 10 people to count on, its like we were inseperable. I remember getting at the parking lot at like 4 in the morning we were all so anxious, all the mothers just sitting there trying to prepare us, as we got on the fligth my stomach was in butterflies, I was so excited, the flight was long and miserable and once we got there I just remember being on cloud 9. the time there was incredible, I just remember little bits and pieces, dancing in the rain, just sneaking onto myspace or to email our parents, just sitting in front of the snack bar and talking, all the wonderful foods and the kaktus juice, I remember sneaking around to get out of our cabin, all the friends we made, the things they somehow got us to say, just watching them play games, the sand in my toes on the beach, the pictures the laughing. Now I look back and cry because I long to be back there, to be in that bliss. We all continued to talk once returning, but it seems as if now we all have drifted, some of us still hang out, and some are gone, college, jobs, its like what once was my family im slowly losing it all and it scares me, looking back on it all just makes me wish I still was friends with everyone and we all were back there, specially the nights in krakow, we had the time of our life. I wish it didnt end, I miss it so bad. and I really miss you, having you be my other half, shame that reality kicked in, I miss you.

i could blog about this for hours.