scary.

Its scary to open my heart up to anyone anymore. Like that sense of vulnerability is now looked down upon, because society makes it out so we have to be these strong individuals. I feel like accepting help its looked at as failing on your own. I think society has put this pressure on me to make it look like Im so put together, because you look at the tabloids and you see these stars falling apart and weak and hurting and they are targeted for gossip. So I have tried to pretend things are great at times so that people wont talk about me, but fuck, if they are talking at least they know my name, I want to let people help me when I need it. and I am no longer afraid to be vunerable. because honestly I have given up trying to impress everyone, I dont have my shit together AT ALL. and I wont pretend I do. because we are human, and God loves me regardless of my imperfections, and I cant love the World and God, so I choose God. Because no matter how many times I mess up, God isnt leaving, friends will. I dont trust people. But he is forever, and I know that people always look down at christianity, but I no longer am embarrassed that I am christian, Because honestly choosing to be a christian was the best decicsion I have ever made.


so I will no logner fear anything, because God is on my side, just like he always has been, I guuess it takes hurt to see that.


Genuine faith endures trials.