hmm.

halloween......


what should I do?



tonight was a bust.

I dont blame you.

First off things are getting better, I fixed a friendship and I am going to let someone in my life to help, I cant do this alone. I realized that. I have taken two days off school to fix myself and so I don't have a mental breakdown. I am happy with how everything is working out with my friends, I am happy today. tonight is worship night at fusion, which means I am going to be in tears spilling my heart out.

I love the way things are looking, I love marissa lynn Kaul for being my everything <3
MLK.HCR.SBP.RPB.KMC.DJL.MHB.HJK.
<3

well,

Alot I really need to think and pray about, I am just lost and overwhelmed,
this was a great weeekend, cooked dinner with lovely meg, mar and Heather and then I had the boys over then a lovely venting conversation and sleepover with mar and meg. then beach (I slept on the beach for like an hour or two ) then fishy finds, dinner with heatheeer :]


Awww, I need a nap :]

incredible.

Today was literally one of the best days I have had in a while :]
I think its cause this is going to be the best weekend. I am so happy, I cant stop smiling :]
I literally cant!

tomorrow I am going to go to the store then meg and mar are coming over and cooking and baking and music and venting and then ryan danny and juan will join us for dinner!
then sleepover with meg and mar and beach in the morning :]

I cant wait for all of this, specially to bake for my kids tomorrow<3


lovelovelove today<3

I am having a weird day.

I have decided, Im not going to be sad, I miss the old me, I want her back.
Im going to dress how I want and wear my red lipstick and not care what anyone says, I am going to laugh loud and not care who makes fun of my laugh, Im going to smile and hope it makes others smile. Im going to bake and give it to those I love.

I miss that :]

So guys, Laugh alongside me, bake with me, join in, dress how YOU want, be happy.
screw what the world thinks.

<3

Horrible.

DAY!
I wish my negativity would go away. I am just literally so over it all. I just HATE school, I need my friends to be by my side again. I do have some great people by my side though, so maybe I should focus on that more than anything. that Marissa is the most incredible best friend in the whole world.

another good thing is that I love my poetry group at school and our scenery was AMAZING!
I gguess there are A LOT of good things happening, I just am feeling the negative ones.


I really think that my music is finally going to be done soon :] my music myspace of cover songs:] music is what makes me smile, its my passion. any ideas of cover songs to do?

Today.

Was a day to remember, it all started with my morning at the dentist (if you knew my life you would understand why it was so painful) But I DEF thought a lot and I'm glad to say, I'm going to pull through, for my friends. I had a bad night last night and I was forced to face reality and I'm glad to say I recovered and things are going to heal, not so quickly and perfectly but God has a way and hes using me to carry it out. I am reallly content with things at the moment. Im glad to say that eventually this will all work out, but in the mean time, Im working on it.
prayer :]

Realization,

I have come to the realization that its easier to say you're not going to care than actually putting it to action, I keep telling myself I wont care about those who hurt me but my heart wont let that happen. I have realized that my faith is the only stability I have anymore. I have realized I cry a lot, I also realize I am loud and obnoxious and I guess its to the point where I'm losing those I love.

I realized I am at my happiest when I'm baking, cleaning,babysitting, or entertaining my friends.
I love late nights of cooking quesdillas and sitting on my couch listening to Norah Jones :]
I have realized the important things.
I can survive what the world throws at me with the help of my faith, family, and friends.

I am going to make it :]